The Best Of All Possible Mustaches

As everyone must know, this is the end of Movember.  And as hundreds as heretofore hirsutely adorned gentlemen prepare their razors to eliminate those hard-won lip jackets that we call ‘mustaches’ and the Victorians called ‘mustachios’, I think we need to take a moment to salute those men for whom every month is Movember.

There have been many great cinematic mustaches over the years.  William Powell, Clark Gable and Errol Flynn made the pencil-stache dashing; Basil Rathbone made it villainous.  Charlie Chaplin’s mustache was great, until it was unfairly maligned by Hitler.  Tom Selleck obviously sports the quintessential mustache.  But of all the mustaches, there is one mustache that can truly be called great; one mustache that exceeds all mustaches, that should have a screen credit of its own.  That is the grandest mustache of all.  I am speaking, of course, of Sam Elliott’s mustache.

Sam Elliott would be a badass all by himself, but the mustache adds that extra layer – that flavor, if you will – of badassery and down-home charm.  It is a mustache of great power and prestige and has adorned the face of Sam Elliott for many many years.  I firmly believe that the reason Elliott dies in Road House is because his mustache was not in full force.  It has been there, through thick and thin, for years.  It charmed Katherine Ross in The Legacy and Conagher.  It pronounced on the future of The Dude in The Big Lebowski. It rode the range with Wyatt Earp in Tombstone.  Although it has appeared in many films with rival mustaches – Tom Selleck’s in The Shadow Riders, just about everybody in Tombstone – it has always held its own like a good mustache should.

So, take a moment.  Bask in the glory of the greatest mustache and know that it will always be there to defend right from wrong, to protect the needy, to guard the homestead.  It is, without doubt, the best of all possible mustaches.

sam elliott mustache

Author: Lauren

Lauren Humphries-Brooks is a writer, editor, and media journalist. She holds a Master’s degree in Cinema Studies from New York University, and in Creative Writing from the University of Edinburgh. She regularly contributes to film and pop culture websites, and has written extensively on Classical Hollywood, British horror films, and the sci-fi, fantasy, and horror genres. She currently works as a freelance copyeditor and proofreader.

2 thoughts on “The Best Of All Possible Mustaches”

  1. The Sam Elliot stache rules the school. It’s actually strange when he shows up in a film without it. Burt Reynolds had some kickin man-staches back in the day too.

Argue With Me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: